Behind Closed Doors, Or Not
by Yasona Black
Summary: A few tales of the MasterPadawan team while they are out of action. Includes a vengeful QuiGon, fuzzy pajamas, shots, mud, spiders and plans devised by sneaky little padawans! COMPLETED!
1. Of Needles

**Title**: Of Needles

**Rating**: G

**Category**: Humor

**Summary**: After recovering from a mission, Qui-Gon has to take Obi-Wan to the healers for those ever dreaded needles. Include fuzzy pajamas!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any JA characters. I'm just having a bit of fun.

**A/N**: This is my first attempt at a humorous fic and if it isn't very funny, I apologize in advance. Please review!

This story is dedicated to Dark Samurai

Qui-Gon Jinn looked over to his padawan, who lay on the couch. While his fever had gone down quite a bit, he still slept a lot; much more than usual, and for Obi-Wan he slept more than most teens. Qui-Gon had a slight suspicion that the reason lay behind the amount of missions that the two take. As much as Qui liked silence he hated seeing his padawan like this; Obi-Wan had slept all last night and most the day without much of a sound.

The Jedi Master also had to take his padawan to the healers, for a couple of routine shots, and for some reason, unbeknownst to Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan had to be awake. As Qui-Gon had found out before, waking a male teenage padawan from a deep sleep had two results. One, waking the boy would have no effect at all, or two, it had a disastrous result. Qui-Gon, did not like either choice.

He stroke Obi-Wan's ginger hair, whispering softly. "Padawan, you have to wake up now."

Obi-Wan didn't say anything, but instead made some kind of noise between a grunt and a moan. Qui-Gon couldn't help but to allow a small smile creep across his face. "Come on, Obi, you have to go to the healers now."

"I don't wanna go. They poke you and stick sharp objects in you, and make you drink nasty. I don't wanna go and I'm not going," he whined as he pulled the covers over his head.

Qui-Gon suppressed another smile that threatened to come out; his padawan was indeed getting better, especially if he could whine like that again. "You have to get up now padawan and that's an order," Qui said sternly trying to keep the aggravation and laughter from his voice.

"I don't wanna."

"You have to."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

'Gods,' thought Qui-Gon as they continued, 'we're fighting like two year olds.' "You're getting up and coming to the healers. You need those shots!" Qui-Gon immediately realized that he had said the wrong thing. He muttered something obscene under his breath.

"I'm not getting any sharp objects prodded into me! No!" Obi-Wan whined, the covers still over his head.

"Obi-Wan, you are acting like you are two years old, please stop."

"You were fighting with me, then so are you," came Obi-Wan's voice of reason.

Qui-Gon mentally kicked himself. 'Why did his reasoning come only at times like these?' "Padawan," he began, "You have exactly three minutes to get up and get dressed, and if you are not cleaned up and dressed within three minutes, I will use whatever force I deem necessary to bring you to the healers."

One minute passing by….

One more minute…

Then three minutes total…

Qui-Gon walked into the room and saw his padawan with the covers still over his head. The large man sighed. It was time to do what he said he would do.

He took the covers off of the boy, and to no surprise, the boy was fast asleep once again. Qui shook him gently. "Obi-Wan, we are going now."

Obi-Wan opened his eyes and saw the stoic face as he dragged Obi-Wan up and put him across his back. "Master!" Obi-Wan whined. "Put me down! I can walk! Please?"

His master did not speak and carried him out of the room to the Healers. Qui-Gon knew that the boy was not enjoying this; he was getting stares from everyone they passed by, and it didn't help that Obi-Wan was wearing fuzzy, light blue pajamas with spaceships on them. Qui-Gon tried as hard as he could to keep the smiles off the face, but there was a slight twinkle to his eyes.

When they reached the healers Qui-Gon put Obi-Wan down. "I hope I never have to do that again," Qui-Gon said very seriously.

Obi-Wan looked down at the floor, his face a brilliant shade of red, "Sorry Master."

"Now, we just have to wait for the needles," spoke Qui-Gon, his voice betraying nothing, yet Obi-Wan had a feeling that his master was laughing at him. "And if you have a problem with the healers giving you a couple routine shots, I could always just sing a little tune."

Obi-Wan paled, his crimson face was gone; his master couldn't carry a tune to save his life. "Well Master, I wouldn't want everyone in the temple to die, I'm sure it might even kill Master Yoda."

A/N: I know it's rather short, but it seemed like a good place to stop. Please tell me what you think, what you really think. I'll even accept flames calmly.

Whaddya think? Should I write another humor fic?


	2. Of Buckets of Mud

**Title:** Behind Closed Doors, or Not

**Rating: **G

**Summary:** What is it really like being a Jedi master and a Jedi padawan? Or is the problem Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon? Includes fuzzy pajamas, needles, mud, and more!

**Dont own SW of JA**

**A/N:** This used to be called Of Needles, but I decided to write more in the story, therefore I needed to change the title and summary. Happy Reading!

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Obi-Wan Kenobi sat on the couch fuming; he had been embarrassed in front of the whole temple and then he had to be poked and prodded at by a healer. He could hear the whole mantra that had been recited from day one; Fear leads to anger, Anger leads to hate, Hate leads to suffering. Right now, it didn't sound all that bad. Suddenly a plan struck Obi-Wan and he nearly jumped up off the couch, well actually, he did.

His master had gone to the market and told Obi-Wan that he would be back in about two hours. That was one hour ago, and Obi-Wan had one hour to pull this off if he wanted it to get done today. The first thing on his list was to see Mace Windu.

Mace pulled pranks on Qui-Gon like a fish swam underwater; he would be the prime choice to help this go smoothly. Obi-Wan grinned as he walked out of the room and to Mace's room and knocked on his door. When Mace opened the door he saw a grinning Obi-Wan with a malevolent look in his eye.

"Padawan Kenobi, are you alright?" he asked suspiciously.

Obi-Wan grinned even wider, any wider and it would have been a smile, but not quite. "Master Windu, how would you like to get back at Master Qui-Gon for that last prank he played on you?"

While Mace pulled pranks on Qui-Gon, Qui-Gon also retaliated. The most recent one was where he dyed Mace's baldhead a neon green that did not go away for two weeks, even with washing it continually. By the end of the two weeks, everyone in the temple had seen Mace's new look.

Mace grinned as he thought about getting Qui-Gon back, and soon he had a grin that matched Obi-Wan's. A padawan initiate walked by and looked up at the Master and padawan and without saying a word, she ran away from them as fast as her feet could carry her; her blonde hair flying behind her; the two didn't even notice that she was there.

"So what do you need me to do?" asked Mace.

"I need you to stall Qui-Gon, and when I give you the signal you need to bring him to the cafeteria and make sure he doesn't suspect a thing."

"That's all?" Mace whined.

"Don't worry, there'll be plenty of other chances that we'll have. And anyway, you're an integral part of this prank and you can cloud his mind," Obi-Wan reassured the Jedi Master.

"I'm on my way," said Mace has he tried to go out the door.

"Master Windu, I understand that it is early morning and that it is not my place to question a Jedi Master, but wearing pajamas with fuzzy yellow ducks on them is not the way to go."

Mace Windu turned bright red and mumbled quick thanks as he went back in and changed into his robes and left quickly.

Obi-Wan walked quickly to the Temple Gardens where it was raining heavily. At least he had put his robe on even though it did little to keep him dry. As he looked around he saw that no one was there and he went to the farthest side of the garden. He knelt down and realized he had forgotten a bucket and shovel. With a sigh and some curse words he went back into the temple and retrieved the two objects.

Once again he went to the furthest side of the garden and knelt down. He shoveled the dirt and mud into the bucket. Unfortunately, he had forgotten to check for anyone and was too absorbed in what he was doing to sense someone come up behind him.

"A very wet day it is," came the sound of Master Yoda's voice.

"Hello Master Yoda," came Obi-Wan's humble voice.

"Ask you what you are doing I should, but know I do."

"Do you believe that I am making a mud castle?"

"Fun, being a Jedi is not always there, you go ahead. Many laughs, I foresee."

Obi-Wan grinned. "Thank you Master Yoda."

"What for? Making mud castles you are. No need to explain!" he shouted.

Obi-Wan knew that Master Yoda knew what he was planning and when he stood up with the bucket of mud in his hand the tiny master turned away, pretending to admire the flowers.

Obi-Wan ran to the cafeteria and saw a ledge of which he could put the bucket on and in his hand was some string, sealer, and some bits of odds and ends. When he was finished, he sat down and admired his work.

Taking out the comlink he set to Mace, he made a sound akin to a dying cat.

Meanwhile------------------

"Qui-Gon, wouldn't you like to come to the flower vendor with me?" Mace asked Qui-Gon in an effort to keep him away from the temple.

"Mace, I went with you to three other places, Obi-Wan is waiting for me, I told him I would be back nearly an hour ago. I don't even know why you're here?"

"Please," Mace pleaded and then his comlink went off a strange noise came through.

"What was that?" Qui-Gon asked. "I swear I heard a dying cat."

"Maybe you need something to eat, we can go to the cafeteria and get something to eat."

"For the last time, I said, oh wait. Okay."

Back at the temple-------------------------------------

Obi-Wan wondered exactly how far away from the market Mace and Qui-Gon strayed; it was getting rather tiring telling people that they should go through the other doors. Then with a vast relief he saw the two masters coming down the hall.

"Master! I was about to get something to eat, would you like to join me? And also you, Master Windu?"

"Why yes, we would love to join you," Mace said. "I do believe that Master Qui-Gon needs to eat, he's been hearing weird sounds that nobody else is hearing."

"Come master," Obi-Wan said as he opened his door for his master.

"Thank you, padawan."

As soon as soon as Qui-Gon was in reach Obi-Wan pulled the string dangling near him and the bucket of mud came crashing down on Qui-Gon in front of everyone in the cafeteria, which was nearly the whole temple including Master Yoda.

"Mace!" Qui-Gon yelled after he took the bucket off his head.

"Don't look at me, your padawan asked me to stall!"

"Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi," he began.

"Master Yoda let me do it!"

Qui-Gon Jinn turned to Yoda. "You let him do this!"

"Merely thought I that making mud castles he was," said Yoda as he tried to creep away.

The Master's face must have surely been red underneath all the mud and dirt that was upon him.

"Get back here you miserable little troll!"

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**A/N**: Please review, and I thank all who reviewed last chapter and hope that you are kind enough to review again. Hope you liked it!


	3. Of Revenge

**Title:** Behind Closed Doors, Or Not

**Rating: **G

**Summary:** wow ummm…go to where you started reading for that one.

**Disclaimer:** I only own the plot.

**A/N:** sorry it took so long for this chapter to be posted! Enjoy!

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Master Qui-Gon Jinn was not mad. He was not mad at all; he was fuming, hysterically, and absolutely furious! He could just hear the stupid troll right now; "Fear leads anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering." The troll could go kick himself in the (you know where) for all he could care.

He needed a plan, and not just any kind of plan, but one never pulled off in history of all the time of Jedi lore. It would be big, clever, and wondrous. He began to grin, his grin getting wider and wider and would soon surpass his padawan's. He began to laugh and laugh a maniacal laugh…that is, until he heard the doorbell ring.

Qui-Gon stopped laughing immediately and forced the maniacal grin off his face as he went to the door. He opened it and standing in front of him was a Mon-Calamarian who he took in as Bant. _Of course it's Bant you idiot! What other female mon-calamarian would it be?_

"Good morning Master Jinn," Bant spoke, light dancing in her eyes and a smile forming at the corners of her mouth as she spoke.

"Good morning Bant," Qui-Gon said confused. He was starting to feel like a nervous wreck with the way Bant was looking at him. He would have to ask his padawan later about his friends; for some strange reason they seemed to creep him out every once in awhile, no, make that every few times he saw them.

"The Council would like to see you immediately," she said as Obi-Wan came up behind her.

"G'morning Master! Sleep well?" Obi-Wan asked cheerfully.

"Yes I did Padawan," he lied outright; he had been up all night thinking of how to get back at his padawan instead of sleeping. "And you?"

"Wonderfully Master," he replied. "But the Council really wants to see you immediately."

Qui-Gon looked from Bant to Obi-Wan and from Obi-Wan to Bant; Bant still looked like she was trying very hard not to laugh whilst Obi-Wan's face was as impassive as could be.

"Very well," he said as he left making another mental note inside of his head to ask about Bant later.

Obi-Wan and Bant watched as the Jedi Master left and once he was out of earshot they looked at each other and laughed and laughed and laughed. The two were hysterical and as young initiate came closer she stayed well away from the two padawans.

The Council Room-------------------------------------

"Masters, you asked me here?" Qui-Gon asked as he walked into the room. He saw that only a few masters were present; Master Yoda, Mace Windu, and Adi Gallia.

"Ask you here we didn't. Heard that you requested a presence with us we did," Master Yoda spoke. "Wonder more right now your choice of clothing you wear."

Qui-Gon Jinn's eyes began to grow as big and round as dinner plates as he realized what he was wearing for the first time. Last night he changed into his sleep clothes, stayed up all night ranting and then Bant came…and he never changed. The Jedi began to swear a string of curses that he had learned from the inner core to the outer rim worlds.

"Swear you will not! Such foul language you curse with, not fair to us it is."

Qui-Gon looked as if he was holding his breath and counting to turn to ten. His face turned from red, to blue, and to purple, and began to turn the deepest purple as Mace let out a huge laugh and he kept laughing and soon Adi Gallia began to snicker. Yoda did not laugh but had the mischievous glint in his eyes.

There was no stranger sight in all of Ancient Jedi Lore than that of Qui-Gon Jinn standing in the council room with fuzzy yellow pajamas with red hearts upon them and a face that was so purple it could be believed that it was nearly black.

Later-----------------------------------------------------

Qui-Gon had changed out of his fuzzy pajamas and into his robes. He knew that his padawan had been in on this joke too, whether or not it was his idea, he was going to get him back. He was going to get his revenge. He walked into the streets of Coruscant towards Didi's Diner; there, he hoped, he would be able to get props for his prank that he would pull.

He walked into the diner and looked for Didi and saw Astri instead.

"Astri, can I speak to your father?" Qui-Gon asked.

"Sure," she said. "Papa!" she yelled and Didi came running out.

"How nice it is to see you again! Is there something you need?"

"As a matter of fact, yes." Qui-Gon answered. "I need a bunch of spiders."

Didi looked insulted. "I can assure you that my place is not so unclean that there are ordinary run of the mill spiders just walking around."

"No," Astri cut in, "there's just great big, giant, hairy ones that aren't your run of the mill type of spiders."

"Well, yes we do have those," Didi answered with a sigh.

"And I swear that they're mutated! One time I even saw one with two heads and…"

"Astri," Didi said warningly.

"But it's true!"

"Astri," he said again.

"Those spiders that she is talking about will do quite nicely," Qui-Gon cut in before Astri could speak again.

"Well, umm, if you're sure than you can take as many as you want. In fact, please do, and you're welcome to take any more that you want in the future," Didi said.

Qui-Gon Jinn left Didi's Diner a very happy man.

Later That Night----------------------------------------------

Qui-Gon Jinn sat patiently on the couch; he wouldn't tell anyone but those spiders even gave him the creeps, especially the ones with two heads. He hadn't been quite sure that Astri was telling the truth but now he full heartedly believed her.

Soon Obi-Wan would wake to find three humongous spiders crawling on him; Qui-Gon had already made sure that they were not poisonous, but he could not wait to see the look on his padawan's face.

One minute ticked by…

Another….

And then…

"AAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Get it off! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" Obi-Wan ran screaming from his room and out the door. "GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF NOW!

I HATE YOU ALL!"

Qui-Gon followed his padawan out the door, who was still running and still screaming all the way until he had reached the Temple Fountains where he jumped in.

"DIE BLASTED SPIDERS! DIE STINKING FIEND! DIE!"

It was then when Master Yoda came out from behind the bushes and looked at the frantic padawan to the master who was laughing hysterically.

Obi-Wan crawled out of the fountain only to hear his master say "I think I see another one."

Obi-Wan jumped back into the water. "DIE BLASTED STINKING FIENDISH FIEND!" Obi-Wan began to rattle off a string of curses as he climbed out, unfortunately in front of not only his master and Master Yoda, but in front of a group of initiates who had come to see what was going on.

Obi-Wan stood there dripping wet in his once warm and dry fuzzy pajamas with spaceships on them. He looked over at Qui-Gon hoping, nearly pleading, but unfortunately the Jedi Master was wearing his everyday robes.

Obi-Wan glared a murderous glare at Qui-Gon. "So…whose hungry?"

"Oooh! I am!" Reeft called out from behind the group of initiates.

Qui-Gon knew he was going to definitely have a talk with his padawan in the morning regarding the sanity of him and his friends.

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**A/N: **Please Review! I enjoyed your comments from the last two chapters! I'll give everyone a cookie if they review!


	4. Of Psychology

**Title**: Behind Closed Doors, Or Not  
**Rating**: G or K or whatever the equivalent is.  
**Summary**: Let's see what chapter are we on know? Well the summary for the chapter you don't know yet so go to that next.  
**Chapter Summary**: Don't normally do this, but I want to so I am. Obi-Wan and his friends plan to get Qui-Gon back for the spiders. All they needed was a psychology book.  
**Disclaimer**: I don't own JA or SW  
**A/N**: ummm….oh right…cookies for those who reviewed (hot fresh ones for the first two reviewers: A.Nu.Evil and DarkSamurai. Nothing for those who didn't.

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"This is going to be awesome," Garen said as he rifled through the pages of a huge book.

"Let me see that psychology book Garen," said Bant. Garen handed it to her and she began rummage through the pages. "This chapter has a whole A to Z list of phobias, maybe I should try one of those."

"What's the first one?" Obi-Wan asked innocently.

"Ablutophobia, a fear of washing of bathing."

Obi-Wan grinned at Bant.

"No way. I am not going to not wash and bathe for goodness knows how long," she replied adamantly.

"She's right," said Reeft. "It would take far too long to get her to smell right," he said ducking a pillow being thrown at him. "What?"

"There's Aulophobia, fear of flutes," Bant continued.

"That would be quite interesting," Obi-Wan said. "It would also be the perfect plan because there are just so many flutes running around." He ducked a pillow being thrown at him.

"Hey!" a new voice shouted. "Are we having a pillow fight?"

The group quickly struggled to hide the book from the person entering the room. When they saw who it was they let out a sigh of relief.

"It's only Mace," Obi-Wan said.

"What do you mean it's only me?" the dark-skinned Jedi asked sullenly.

"Sorry Mace, we thought it was someone else," Bant said quickly.

"Why…what are you five up to?"

"Now that you asked, we need your help to pull this off. Think about Master Qui-Gon's latest prank on you?"

Qui-Gon had recently dyed all of Mace's Jedi robes hot pink, and in fact, he didn't stop there. He dyed all of Mace's clothes a bright hot pink including his favorite pair of fuzzy pajamas. Mace Windu, a respected Jedi Master, had gone into the council room wearing hot pink robes.

"Whatever you're planning against Qui-Gon I'm in."

"That's great! We're planning to take over the whole Jedi Council, and then were going to make them listen to my master sing while he's wearing his pajamas, the ones with the little feet attached," Obi-Wan said in a rush.

"Qui-Gon has pajamas with feet attached? And you're going to do what?" Mace exclaimed.

"Relax, we're just kidding," Garen said.

"Maybe," Obi-Wan answered passively.

"We," began Bant, "are going to choose some sort of disorder from this psychology book and you are going to recommend us to Qui-Gon for help."

"You five don't need to find one, you already have one," Mace muttered under his breath.

"What was that?" Obi-Wan asked.

"Nothing!" Mace yelled quickly.

"Okay, now that we're all agreed we should get to work," Obi-Wan said.

"How about a fear of bunny rabbits?" Bant asked.

Mace looked up at the ceiling and raised his hands. "Force help us all," he said quietly.

"Okay, so Bant will be afraid of rabbits," Obi-Wan began.

"Bunny rabbits," Bant corrected.

"Why cant you just say bunny or rabbit?" Obi-Wan asked.

"Because you call it a bunny rabbit!"

"And they need a psychology book," Mace muttered again.

Not one of them heard Mace.

"Is this your phobia starting already?" Reeft asked.

"A phobia is a fear of something, she wouldn't be this adamant about 'bunny rabbit' if she was afraid of them," Garen said informatively.

"I know that!" Reeft said.

"Definitely don't need a book," Mace muttered again.

"Zemmiphobia, fear of the great mole rat," Garen spoke aloud as he held the book in his hand.

"Choose one already will you!"

"Bunny rabbit! What about great mole rats?"

_So this is why Qui-Gon leaves whenever they get together, _Mace said to himself.

"Okay, we figured out what Bant is going to do, now what about the rest of us?" Reeft spoke loudly.

"We could have Reeft being afraid of not eating food, like he thinks that the food is proud to be eaten or something," Obi-Wan suggested.

"Now where would you get that idea?" Bant asked.

"From an English muffin," he said seriously.

Not one single person in the room could tell if he was serious or not.

"Sooo, I'm going to believe that food is proud to be eaten?" Reeft asked. "That sounds good to me," he continued.

"Let's see," Mace began. "Bant is going to be afraid of bunnies,"

"Bunny rabbits."

"And Garen is going to believe that food is proud to be eaten," he finished, ignoring Bant. _And for some strange reason Obi-Wan seems very serious on this English muffin thing._

"Now for Garen and Obi-Wan," Reeft said.

"Panophobia, fear of everything," came Bant's voice.

"Yeah, that's why we always jump in fear over everything that we see, hear, taste, or smell. There is no way that he would buy into that," Obi-Wan shot back.

"I thought it sounded like a good idea," said Reeft.

Mace then sat down on one of the couches his head in his hands. None of the five noticed.

"Phobophobia, fear of phobias," Obi-Wan suggested.

"And you thought Panophobia was bad," Bant muttered under her breath.

"Because it was!" Obi-Wan shouted.

"Well…so was yours!" Bant shouted back.

"Well I sure as heck wont have a problem recommending any of them to a mind healer," Mace said under his breath.

"What if Garen had an invisible friend?" Reeft suggested.

"Yes!" shouted Garen. "His name will be Ben, and he has, he will be about my size, he's a green twilek and he always wears, I mean he will wear blue Jedi robes all the time."

"Garen," began Reeft. "You do know that you are making this up, right?"

"Oh…yeah of course," Garen said his eyes dimmed as he spoke.

"Okay…" said Bant, risking a glance at Garen. "Now for Obi-Wan."

"Well, he already seems to have a strange thing with English muffins," Mace suggested.

"That's perfect! He'll have a weird obsession with English muffins," Bant shouted jumping into the air.

"Don't I get a say in this?" Obi-Wan asked accusingly.

"Of course you don't."

"Well, he'll certainly believe that one, after what happened with the last muffin I ate," he muttered.

Everyone chose to stay silent on that one.

"Well are we agreed on this?" Mace asked standing up.

"On what?" Reeft asked.

Mace turned purple has he looked over at the dresselian. Anyone could tell that he was counting to ten.

"On the fact that Bant is afraid of bunny rabbits, Reeft believes that food is proud to be eaten, Garen has an invisible friend, and Obi-Wan has an obsession with English muffins!" Mace nearly shouted.

"Oh that," Reeft said. "I agree!"

"What are we agreeing on again?" Obi-Wan asked.

No one in the room could save Obi-Wan from the death glare he was receiving from the Jedi Master.

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A/N: Now, I worked very hard on this chapter and I have a little over a hundred hits on my last chapter. I would very much like to know if you are enjoying my story or if you have any comments or critique.

Snacks for those who review! Tell me what you want in your review and I'll give you them!


	5. Of Insanity

**Title:** Behind Closed Doors, Or Not  
**Rating:** G  
**Chapter Summary:** The plan in action, their finest actions ever achieved in the revenge against Master Qui-Gon Jinn.  
**Disclaimer:** Do you see green in my hand? Nope (sigh) I don't own any SW or JA characters. I only own the plot.  
**A/N: **This is likely to be the last chapter in this story, however I will post the Obi-Wan and the English Muffin story, and it will be rather short. And now on to the story.

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Jedi healer, Winna Di Yuni, had never been more surprised in her life. Not once had someone asked her if she would help out a prank on the stoic Jedi Master, Qui-Gon Jinn; years ago, the mere possibility of something like this being played out on him, was unthinkable. When Obi-Wan asked she grudgingly agreed.

She hated innocent faces, the one on Obi-Wan's had been priceless, a moment that if it had been possible she would have captured onto a holovid to hang on her wall. Right now, as amazing as it had been, she was now walking to Qui-Gon's room because of that stupid innocent face.

"Master Jinn!" she exclaimed as she walked right into him; having been so absorbed in her own thoughts. "I was looking for you, one of the mind healers sent me." She inwardly cursed herself; Jedi weren't supposed to lie, and yet here she was. _I hate innocent faces._

However, the look of fear, however much of a fleeting glance it was, was unmistakable. Never before had she seen such a look of dread upon the Master; she wondered how many more gray hairs Obi-Wan had given him.

"Why would I need to see a mind healer?" he asked keeping his face as serene as possible.

"Not you," she said quickly as she eyed the visible relaxation in his face and posture. "The mind healers need a volunteer to watch a few padawans in a less hostile environment; preferably no mind healers trying to shrink them and just a Master who will listen."

"No." It was the flattest, quickest, and most demanding no that Winna Di Yuni had heard all day, but perhaps the fact that she had only talked to Obi-Wan that day, would go into account.

"Too bad, we already volunteered you. Come with me," she said grabbing his hand and dragging him along. _I am going to be in so much trouble for this_, she thought as she cursed Obi-Wan and his innocent little face.

Qui-Gon soon caught up with Winna, so he could get his hand free, but before he could Mace walked by and saw.

"I'm hurt, Qui!" and as he walked past he winked at Qui-Gon who quickly shed his hand from Winna's.

He was led into a room with a desk and a chair on either side. There was nothing more.

"The room is virtually empty just in case one of them go into a fit, which may be likely to happen."

"Wonderful," Qui-Gon muttered.

"What was that?" Winna asked sweetly.

"Nothing," he muttered just a bit louder.

"So your first padawan will be Garen Muln."

Qui-Gon barely raised an eyebrow. Winna left and closed the door behind her.

"You first Garen," she said as she walked through the padawans. Garen grinned and entered the room.

---------------------------------------------------------------------The Room

"Good Morning Garen," Qui-Gon said.

Garen looked at him indignantly. "Well?"

The Jedi master had a perplexed look on his face.

"Aren't you going to say hi to Ben?"

Qui-Gon looked around the room and spotting no one looked at Garen.

"For goodness sakes he's wearing bright blue today!"

"I'm sorry Garen, but I do not see him."

"Why must you people be all so blind?" he said out loud, more to the ceiling than to Qui-Gon. He turned to his right, "Force, I don't know why, I mean, you could wear yellow and no one would notice you. It's a good thing you got me around to talk to."

Qui-Gon rubbed his forehead. It was going to be a long day.

"So is Ben human?" he asked, knowing that Ben was a more common name among humans.

"Of course not! He's a green-skinned twilek who always wears a certain shade of blue jedi robes. He's my best friend!"

"Now, I thought Obi-Wan was your best friend?"

"He's my best solid friend," Garen stated.

"So, Ben isn't a solid best friend?"

"Well duh! He can walk through things especially dirty dishes…I think he likes to absorb the food, likes the rotting taste better. You know, I've never asked why…"

"You know Garen, I think times up, why don't you send the next padawan in."

"Come on Ben, we cant stay here all day. Yes I know you like Master Jinn, but I think you might be going just a little overboard," Garen walked out, and moments later Reeft walked in.

"Good Morning Reeft," he said. _It's not even ten o'clock yet…_

Before he was ready to reply, the door opened and Garen came walking in again.

"Ben! I told you a million times not to look at Qui-Gon like that; it's rude and inappropriate!" He walked out shaking his head resignedly.

"What are you here for?"

"I cannot not eat food."

"Why?" The Jedi Master's question was full heartedly sincere. These were his padawan's best friends that he was finding.

"Because, it would be undignified for them if they were not eaten. It is like a blow to their pride every time they are thrown away! Meat, dairy, vegetables, fruit, and breads, and much much more are thrown away everyday, and their souls die off of broken pride!"

"You are saying that you eat food because of what? I think I missed that."

Reeft repeated his rant once again as Qui-Gon put his head in his hands. "And so, food is proud to be eaten! So never be afraid to eat when food comes!"

"Well, Garen, I think that that is quite enough. You may go."

As he left, Winna walked back into the room.

"Oh please am I done?"

"Of course not you got more of them to go, so anyway, the next one is Bant Erin and you will need these note cards."

Qui-Gon looked at the cards, one had bunny written on it, one had rabbit written on it, and one had bunny rabbit written on it.

"Bant has a fear of bunny rabbits on it, so you are to have her look at the cards and gauge her reactions.

"Is that all?"

"Yes, and when you are done with that, you may send her out."

At least this would be quick, he thought as Winna left and Bant entered.

"Hello Bant."

"Hello Master Jinn," she said.

Well she couldn't be too bad; she actually exchanged pleasant conversation with him. However, she hadn't seen the note cards yet. Qui-Gon held up at random the first card with the word bunny on it.

She was silent. Qui-Gon looked at the card and looked at Bant; of whom looked like she was itching to say something, but decided against it.

He held up the next card, 'Bunny Rabbit' was printed on it.

She harshly drew in her breath and started shaking her head. "NextcardnextcardpleasepleaseNEXTCARD!"

Qui-Gon quickly turned over the card to calm Bant down, unfortunately for the both of them, Bant let out a scream as she stood up and knocked her chair over and left the room; still screaming.

-------------------------------meanwhile---------------------

"You know, I think you may just have a fear of bunnies after all," Obi-Wan said after Bant had stopped screaming.

"Bunny rabbits, and no I do not have a fear of them," she projected calmly.

Obi-Wan looked at her funny and decided not to say anything. "Well, it's almost my turn."

"It is your turn. Your Master is right, you do need to be more in touch with the living force," Garen said.

"So says the one with the invisible friend," Obi-Wan retorted.

"HEY! How did you know? You can see him?"

-------------Back in the room------

Winna could see the relief in the Jedi Master's eyes as she walked through the door.

"Are we done yet?"

"You sound like an impatient initiate, and no, you are not."

"But they're insane!"

"Why, Master Jinn, do you think they go to the mind healers?" Winna said an in impatiently sounding voice. _This was good Kenobi, but I'm in way deep._

"How many more?"

"Just one; Obi-Wan Kenobi, and that's why I came in. You will not speak to him about his relationship from you, but just as you did with Bant, you will show him these note cards and watch his reactions, that is all. Explaining can all be done later, outside of this room."

"Not more note cards…"he hoped that Obi-Wan didn't have the same strange fear that Bant had.

As she left Obi-Wan walked in and sat down quietly.

"Good Morning Obi-Wan," he said.

"Good Morning Master Jinn," Obi-Wan replied.

Qui-Gon took the first card and put his head in his hands when he saw the first word printed in neat bold words. 'Bunny Rabbit.' He held the card up and was relieved when he saw that Obi-Wan displayed no emotion or reaction to the card at all.

He held the second card up, which much to his confusion, was a teenager eating an English muffin.

Obi-Wan smiled slightly at that. "You go, rock on English muffin."

Somewhat disturbed, Qui-Gon put the card down and picked up the last one, which was an English muffin being thrown in the garbage.

His padawan's face fell significantly and muttered about 'stupid, uncaring, people.'

"That will be all Padawan Kenobi."

He left and joined his friends outside the room. Winna came back in.

"Painkiller, tranquilizer, anything please!" he begged.

"Begging is unbefitting for a Jedi," Winna stated.

"I am living with a bunch of LUNATICS AND NUTCASES! AND THEY LIVE RIGHT IN THE TEMPLE! And you, ARE TALKING TO ME ABOUT WHAT IS UNBEFFITTING FOR A JEDI!"

"That had nothing to do with me," Winna said defensively.

"Please tell me, why am I surrounded by lunatics and nutcases?"

"You know, technically lunatics and nutcases are the same thing, even though both are incorrect terms, we prefer mentally ill," spoke Garen.

"Well you have an invisible friend," Bant said, "I don't believe he is going to take your advice."

"It was more of counseling than it was advice," Obi-Wan said.

"And you have a strange thing going on with English muffins!" Bant nearly shouted.

"Coming from the one who sees some difference between bunny, bunny rabbit, and bunny!" Reeft yelled at Bant.

"That's so much stranger than believing food is proud to be eaten," she retorted.

"Hey!" came two voices, one sounding suspiciously like Obi-Wan.

"Well I think we have made Master Jinn suffer enough. You might want to tell him now," Winna told the padawans.

"Tell. Me. What." It was phrased as a command, not as a question.

Winna laughed nervously under Qui-Gon's fierce glare and pointing at the padawans and as Qui-Gon turned she ran down the hall, nearly running over Yoda as he made his way to the group.

"Master Yoda!" Obi-Wan shouted, "We wanted only to test Master Qui-Gon's patience with a slight joke about how we are mentally ill, and see how long it would take and after, Garen, Reeft, Bant, and myself, he lost all patience."

Yoda looked up at Obi-Wan with a hint of glee in his eyes. "Come with me, your master will, meditate for hours we shall, reflect on the virtues of patience, and visit a mental hospital we shall also. To the Gardens you will go Master Qui-Gon, right behind you I will be."

As soon as Qui-Gon was out of earshot Yoda spoke again. "Commend you four, I do. Test the patience of Qui-Gon you did, without knowing, listened to the force you did. Still, wonder I do, if you all are in need of help."

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A/N: well that's all. The English Muffin story will be posted in some time, and although it wasn't my favorite chapter, it was my favorite ending of a chapter.

Please review, I would like to know if you liked it or if you didn't.

Thank you for all who REVIEWED! And for DarkSamurai, because w/out him urging me to write something funny, this story would have never been posted, and I left fuzzy pajamas in this chap too, **sigh**s.

THE END


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